OOoopps; sorry Omar. I didn’t read all of the correspondence between my last two posts and completely missed your explanation that you live in Houston while your wife is still in Morocco.
That must be quite difficult, being separated while she is expecting. Will you be able to visit at the time of your daughter’s birth? I hope your wife is hanging in there.
As for my daughters, my husband had already been in the US for many years at the time of our marriage. He had a green card beforehand; I was married in the Masjid with a Wali, being a convert myself. I refused to entertain the idea of marrying anyone who did not already have a green card, for it was bad enough that I had no family to look in to the backgrounds of prospective grooms. I did not want to take a chance on marrying someone who saw me primarily as a means to an end. Unfortunately, it does happen that men (and women, to a lesser extent) enter into marriages with the intention of dissolving them when they get their papers in order. Only last week a friend of mine told me that it had just happened to her. Literally, just happened; the Iddah is about half over. Her husband, the day he got his papers, changed completely and announced that he was moving to another state. He is a Moroccan, I am shamed to say. He divorced her and got on a plane. No joke; I couldn’t believe it myself. She hasn’t told many people, and it is a big source of friction between she and her mother. She, too, is a convert, and a lovely, dedicated, religious woman. Her mom blames Islam, of course.
Anyway, I was very young and in a college town when I converted, so one of the ways I thought I could protect myself, to some degree, was to insist that any potential groom already have a green card or citizenship. Everyone who wants to get married has friends who vouch for his/her character, and I had no way of investigating in a thorough manner what the men were really like. I knew I wanted an Arabic speaker, so as to increase the probability of my children learning Arabic. I didn’t realize how far Moroccan is from MSA at the time, but it wouldn’t have made a difference had I known.
My husband obtained his citizenship soon after our first daughter was born.
And that is way more than I ought to be saying…