If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer

Here’s an easy game to play.
Here’s an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn’t hash,
then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

You can’t say this?
What a shame sir!
We’ll find you
Another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Cool poem! The rap style is very obvious. Aslan you can’t read this poem normally, when you read it, you find yourself like singing rap :D.

SM, are you familiar with Dr. Seuss? He tells marvelous children’s stories with morals about how one should behave. Did you see, “Horton Hears a Who?” It is a movie based on the book of the same title, wherein, among the constant refrains is, “'Cause a person’s a person, no matter how small.” Then, there is "Yertle the Turtle, whose story goes, "In the Kingdom Salamond… Yertle the Turtle was King of the Pond… A nice little pond; it was clean, it was neat; the water was warm, there was plenty to eat, and the turtles were all there quite happy indeed… They WERE, until Yertle, the king of them all, decided the kingdom he ruled was too small, “I’m King,” shouted Yertle, “of all that I see. But I don’t see ENOUGH; that’s the trouble with me. With this stone for my throne I look down on the pond, but I CANNOT look down at the places beyond. This throne is too low!” he bellowed and brayed, and the turtles way down in the pond were afaid. “It ought to be higher!’… So her ordered more turtles, with Uncles and Cousins; whole families of turtles; they came by the dozens, and he stacked them all up in a nine pile stack, and the one down below was a fellow named Mack. A plain little fellow… but that plain little fellow whose name was just Mack decided he’d taken enough, and he had. And that plain little Mack got a little bit mad, and that plain little Mack did a plain little thing; he burped, and his burp shook the throne of the king…Now Yertle the Turtle, that Marvelous He, is King of the Mud; that is all he can see. And the turtles, oh yes, all the turtles are free, as turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.”

That is a rough rendition taken entirely out of my memory, and I know that it contains many mistakes. Nevertheless, I thought you might enjoy the story. Um Maryam