# The Truth About College: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj **URL:** \ **Category:** Fun Zone and Games - Fun zone et jeux\ **Created:** [November 25, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241 "2009-11-25T19:48:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/z/ea5d25/32.png) [@Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Za3ma)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/1 "2009-11-25T19:48:01Z")
College is a bunch of rooms where you sit for 2,000 hours or so and try to memorize things. The 2,000 hours are spread out over four years. You spend the rest of the time sleeping, partying, and trying to get dates. ``` Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college: 1. Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). 2. Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours). The latter are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, -osophy, -istry, -ics, and so on. The idea is you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life. After you've been in college for a year or so, you're supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: Be sure to choose a major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers. This means you must not major in mathematics, physics, biology, chemistry, or geology because these subjects involve actual facts. If, for example, you major in mathematics, you're going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If you don't come up with exactly the answer the professor has in mind, you fail. The same is true of chemistry: If you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on. Scientists are extremely snotty about this. So you should major in subjects like English, philosophy, psychology, and sociology - subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody else is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts. I attended classes in all these subjects, so I'll give you a quick overview of each: ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say Moby Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly 11,000 times. So in your paper, you say Moby Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland. Your professor, who is sick to death of reading papers and never liked Moby Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English. PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs. PSYCHOLOGY: This involves talking about rats and dreams. Psychologists are obsessed with rats and dreams. I once spent an entire semester training a rat to punch little buttons in a certain sequence, then training my roommate to do the same thing. The rat learned much faster. My roommate is now a doctor. If you like rats or dreams, and above all if you dream about rats, you should major in psychology. SOCIOLOGY: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far and away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code. If you plan to major in sociology, you'll have to learn to do the same thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when they fall down. You should write: "Methodological observation of the sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that a causal relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory behavior forms." If you can keep this up for 50 or 60 pages, you will get a large government grant. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/p/e19b73/32.png) [@Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Paperbird)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/2 "2009-11-25T20:11:48Z")
Ohhh m…y… g…o…d ! tell me sth i don’t know :yuck: [quote=Za3ma]PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.[/quote] somebody half agrees with me :okay: ---
**Author:** ![mini91](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mini91](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/mini91)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/3 "2009-11-25T20:14:57Z")
OMG FUUUUUUUUUUUNY!!! 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/z/ea5d25/32.png) [@Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Za3ma)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/4 "2009-11-25T20:16:19Z")
i’d love to pretend that i wrote that but u guys know me too good jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj BUT all that dude said is riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight ---
**Author:** ![mini91](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mini91](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/mini91)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/5 "2009-11-25T20:25:02Z")
i know so blunt but true, omg why did i even go there n the 1st place?!! :huh: oh yeah to learn _sigh_ :hm: ---
**Author:** ![Darija-Lover](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/d/e95f7d/32.png) [@Darija-Lover](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Darija-Lover)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/6 "2009-11-26T20:04:33Z")
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s very funny, I liked it a lot, although it’s not all that correct for instance, you learn in college how to take other people’s works and make them look like they just got out of your own computer 😛 ---
**Author:** ![LallaA](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/l/f19dbf/32.png) [@LallaA](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/LallaA)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/7 "2009-11-28T22:45:15Z")
[quote]After you’ve been in college for a year or so, you’re supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about.[/quote] woooord on that, i’ve already forgotten everything i learnt this year ---
**Author:** ![Madridista](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Madridista](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Madridista)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/8 "2009-11-29T01:29:04Z")
loooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllll thats sooooooooooooooooooo true 😛 why do we go to colleges then :s … oh yeah to date easily 😛 ---
**Author:** ![alchemistlady](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/a/dc4da7/32.png) [@alchemistlady](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/alchemistlady)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/9 "2009-11-29T16:48:03Z")
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool :mdr: OMG !! totally true hahahaha 😃 I luv the science stuff 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCasawiya](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/c/8dc957/32.png) [@CrazyCasawiya](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/CrazyCasawiya)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/10 "2009-11-29T16:50:31Z")
thats sooooooooooooo true za3ma uffff i hate philo we are just cant go along with each other yukh za3ma thanx for posting ---
**Author:** ![Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/p/e19b73/32.png) [@Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Paperbird)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/11 "2009-11-29T16:54:41Z")
> [@samu143](#): > > thats sooooooooooooo true za3ma uffff i hate philo we are just cant go along with each other yukh Phylo is mainly why i couldn’t graduate from highschool & get my Bachelor :hm: ---
**Author:** ![Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/z/ea5d25/32.png) [@Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Za3ma)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/12 "2009-11-29T16:55:05Z")
zomg u r all a bunch of kosala or kosala qodama jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ---
**Author:** ![Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/z/ea5d25/32.png) [@Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Za3ma)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/13 "2009-11-29T16:57:08Z")
> [@Paperbird](#): > > [quote=samu143]thats sooooooooooooo true za3ma uffff i hate philo we are just cant go along with each other yukh Phylo is mainly why i couldn’t graduate from highschool & get my Bachelor :hm:[/quote] come on philo is all abt saying in 100 words what you can say by 2 in a multidiemsional existence where all patterns of pshychological mish-mashes compete = in today’s world jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ---
**Author:** ![Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/p/e19b73/32.png) [@Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Paperbird)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/14 "2009-11-29T16:57:15Z")
[quote=Za3ma]zomg u r all a bunch of kosala or kosala qodama jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj[/quote] Don’t act like you’re muCHtahida :fouet: ---
**Author:** ![Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/p/e19b73/32.png) [@Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Paperbird)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/15 "2009-11-29T16:58:40Z")
[quote=Za3ma]come on philo is all abt saying in 100 words what you can say by 2 in a multidiemsional existence where all patterns of pshychological mish-mashes compete = in today’s world[/quote] I do that, but always get an “off topic” ---
**Author:** ![Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/z/ea5d25/32.png) [@Za3ma](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Za3ma)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/16 "2009-11-29T17:01:56Z")
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ka tansa rasak u should first answer the Q in 3 lines then translate it to philo talk on 3 pages easy yaallah sewaye3 m3a za3ma 20$ sa3a elli ma 3endo dollar ydoubel jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCasawiya](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/c/8dc957/32.png) [@CrazyCasawiya](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/CrazyCasawiya)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/17 "2009-11-29T17:43:03Z")
lol i passed my philo test in bac its just that i hated it in high school maybe because our teacher was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring ---
**Author:** ![Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/p/e19b73/32.png) [@Paperbird](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/Paperbird)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/18 "2009-11-29T20:05:13Z")
> [@samu143](#): > > est in bac its just that i hated it in high school maybe because our teacher was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring you reminded me to a Philo teacher we used to call “Dekart lemsatti” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCasawiya](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/c/8dc957/32.png) [@CrazyCasawiya](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/u/CrazyCasawiya)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://forum.speakmoroccan.com/t/the-truth-about-college-jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj/2241/19 "2009-11-29T20:27:17Z")
jjjjjjjjjjjj thats cool